E

Dear my insecurities,

To your presence that often show upon my-anxious-self, i never blame nor i want to burden myself by thinking you are unwanted. Indeed, sometimes you do.

To your presence resulting the sadness to appear within my feelings, it often hurts, but i can’t confirm that i don’t feel relief at the same time because i can relay my sadness.

To your presence that makes me wanted to scream in irritation, because right on the time you’re showing up, i couldn’t help but feel lonely and pathetic. To sum up all the feelings i’d get from you is, pain. Unwillingly, i need to confirm this so that i am no longer suffocating.

But, because of you, the mighty word called insecure, with your presence which often ticking me up and regardless how much i hate you, but at the same time i can sense the gratefulness, i’m going to feel, will come after. Other than all the negatives, the ugly and unpleasant feelings you caused, there come the realisation that i should treasure the good things in my life, which god have gifted and about to give to me.

With that, i have to always feeling grateful towards the good and bad things running to me.

To the presence of insecurities which make me feel unsettle, resulting me to have to cheer my poor self, trying healing the hurt me. and making sure that i should do even better, i should work harder to get what i want. I HAVE to in order to reach the success, and everything done perfectly, definitely.

By your presence, dear the mighty insecurities, i once again being reminded whether the bad things will be tailed by the beautiful happenings rewarded afterwards.

The process to come to realisation of gratefulness may need quite a long time, but it is worthwhile.

Everything in life, i believe, will have a happy ending. You need to sacrifice a little to get something better in return. You have to invest first and so you’ll earn.

E, 12-7-2014 7:25PM WIB