E

A rare self dedication post,
an open letter to the man that i will love after this.
there’s so much i ask of you but here is one.
there are a lot of times where i don’t know which way is up
i’ll spend days and months trying to figure out how to swim in a shallow water and stand up on the ocean ground and i will need your hands but don’t pull me out of the water,
just be with me till i figure out how to move my limbs in the right way so that i dont drown
be with me when i fail to learn how it is to catch my breath and i have to drown
be with me when i drown.
an open letter to the man that will love me after this.
i have to apologize for a lot of things but here is one.
i don’t know how to draw a rest exclamation like i don’t understand what it is to be calm
my mind is a rattling old box and it makes so much angry noises
it rattles even without you trying to shake it
it rattles the most when i lie every night and try to sleep as much as it is when i’m in between of my sleeps
i am sorry if it keeps you up at night
i am sorry if it’s too loud at times
i’m sorry if it tries to argue with you and call you at silly times
it has been lonely for a while now and i wonder if it’s loud because it’s empty or heavy
i’m sorry if my old empty box is heavy.